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Still living in the past?


Published: 17th November 2007 - Category: Bastow Blogs - Author: Lynne Bastow

I have had a run of bad luck recently… car smashed up on motorway (no one hurt but it takes weeks to sort out), ripped off by a conman (entered office under guise of plumber and stole our cheque book), lost my favourite bracelet (irreplaceable – whoever is wearing it now will get no pleasure as that bracelet is totally imbibed with my vibe)… could go on but that would be moaning.

Anyway, I launched in to the universal victim cry “Why Me?”… and the answer came:

“You cannot alter what happens to you but you can control how you react to it, stop dwelling on it, stop living in the past, deal with the hassle and move on”.

So many people who get divorced spend so much time running through what went wrong, again and again and again! Nothing changes, they are just trapped by the what ifs and why questions.

If this is you, you have a choice:

  1. Continue allowing your mind to focus on the unfairness and desperate sadness of your treatment at the hands of your spouse. The result will be depression, desperation or even madness. Heather Mills is an example of someone who outwardly appears to be trapped in the fight and the need to win, to make everyone sympathise with her and accept that she was right all along, to have him publicly apologise… nothing will make it right again… in fact the only thing good enough is to turn the clock back.

    Like the monkey in the trap one needs to let go!

  2. Every day when you wake up or go to sleep repeat a positive mantra to yourself 10 times. Choose what suits but something like:

    “I am a beautiful and successful person and deserve the best and to be treated with respect”

    Not you? Do you prefer:

    “I am a useless, fat idiot with no drive or direction in life and no friends?”

What you think is what you get!
Plus… SMILE.

If it hurts too much think of people recovering from major surgery who have to learn to walk again. Force yourself. It is not easy but if you put in the effort you will get the results.

Recovery is a journey, but you cannot move down the road to self fulfillment, confidence and happiness until you take that first step…

Lynne Bastow Divorce Solicitor

Meet Lynne Bastow

With over 16 years experience, Lynne can provide excellent and valuable advice and has a friendly, positive approach towards all her clients, ensuring you get the best service possible.

Read Lynne's Books

If you need more information on divorce, Lynne has published two informative guides on divorce, which you can purchase from Amazon.

The Little Book of Divorce

The Little Book of Divorce

Buy on Amazon
The Little Book of Divorce Dilemmas

The Little Book of Divorce Dilemmas

Buy on Amazon
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