The 80/20 rule, or Pareto principle is an economic rule that 80% of resources are spent producing 20% of output. It began by him noticing that 80% of the land was owned by 20% of the people.
The rule is universal, for example:
20% of customers and 20% of sales staff produce 80% of revenue
We wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time
We only use 20% of our stuff so the other 80% is clutter
Eat healthily 80% of the time
80% of crime is carried out by 20% of criminals
80% of horse races are won by 20% of jockeys and trainers
How does this rule apply to my divorce?
Recognise that 80% of the stuff you are arguing about is stuff you don’t need or want and will become clutter if you get to keep it. I know of one woman who was determined to prevent her husband getting the dining table and chairs and left them to rot in her garden!
Understand that 80% of the pain you are feeling is the resurgence of past hurts and try to focus on the events happening now. We know he never helped in the house, had an affair, was violent, and that she constantly undermined you and refused to have sex for years, but all these past hurts and rejections feed the fight. Try to separate what is hurting now from past scars.
Focus on what the issues are. The family courts, perhaps unwittingly, understand this rule and ask couples to agree the matters in dispute at an early stage.