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Divorce. Couple Arguing

Nervous about going to court?


Published: 15th October 2007 - Category: Separation and Divorce - Author: Lynne Bastow

This is a seasonal photo, looking forward to and celebrating Halloween, Bonfire night, crisp autumn evenings and the fact that we live in this country in this century! What a fantastic deal.

I was in Court on my own matter last week, which was excellent at helping me understand how nervous my clients can be. Outwardly I didn’t appear nervous but I lost my cool a few times at my ex-husband’s barrister and felt that I had to apologise to him. I know the saying that a solicitor who represents himself has a fool for a client but… I have instructed another solicitor in the past and it cost me a fortune arguing with him. Basically he would not do what I wanted. In the end he did but he charged me for all those rows! Deep down I knew I was right, not emotionally but legally and his “scared to take action” approach drove me mad. Which leads me on to…

Before instructing a solicitor check out their approach to negotiation, risk and litigation. If you turn up with a black eye and they tell you that you may have difficulty obtaining an injunction then they are clearly risk averse. If they advise you to launch into an interim maintenance application when your ex has just lost his/her job they are clearly on the outer edges of risk taking!

Anyway, what happened last week? The important thing in any negotiation is to work out what the other side wants, what’s their deal breaker and what is their bottom line. This is not necessarily logical and something you don’t value could be very important to them. It is also rarely obvious. What they say they want and what they really want can be very different.

I worked out what my ex wanted. I mentioned to his barrister that I wanted a word with him. I let him draft an order based on a contest. He then reminded me I wanted a word. I made the offer. He said it was the most bizarre thing he had ever heard but he was obliged to take instructions and went off… A deal was struck much to the barrister’s amazement.

What does Heather Mills want? It would appear fame and the chance to make the American public like her. What does Paul McCartney want? I would suggest never having to read or hear about his divorce and Heather Mills again. What should he offer her? The chance to write her book (who’s going to want to read it anyway?) provided his publicist has the veto on anything controversial, this offer should limit substantially her pay off and he should offer to dedicate a song to her with all the proceeds going to her favourite charity. This would make Heather appear magnanimous, taking less money than she could and would help her to forget that she is famous principally because she married an extremely talented man! The alternative will cost him a lot more money. It’s a bit like a parking fine… just because one can afford it does not make it more palatable!

Lynne Bastow Divorce Solicitor

Meet Lynne Bastow

With over 16 years experience, Lynne can provide excellent and valuable advice and has a friendly, positive approach towards all her clients, ensuring you get the best service possible.

Read Lynne's Books

If you need more information on divorce, Lynne has published two informative guides on divorce, which you can purchase from Amazon.

The Little Book of Divorce

The Little Book of Divorce

Buy on Amazon
The Little Book of Divorce Dilemmas

The Little Book of Divorce Dilemmas

Buy on Amazon
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