Thinking about getting divorced? Bored? Had enough? Don’t fancy your partner any more? If you are in an abusive relationship – go right ahead and divorce. If this is not the case and you are simply contemplating divorce try making this list first.
- Work out what attracted you to your mate initially.
Nice voice? Hands? It’s a bit unfortunate if it was his hair and he is now bald, her figure and she is now twice the woman you married, but write it all down anyway.
- Have you ever liked anything about him/her?
Generous? Funny? Kind?
- What is he/she good at?
DIY? Cooking? Driving? IT?
- Who likes him/her?
Put down everyone, it’s not a question of sides so your best friend and your mother can be on the list.
- What do they like about him/her?
- What is the best thing he/she has ever done?
- Has he/she done anything to make you feel proud?
- When you needed help was he/she there for you?
Think hard, changing your tyre will do if he gave you no emotional support when your dad died. Washing your shirt works even if she refused to go to your company do. No negatives, only positives, no matter how insignificant they seem to you.
- If you were at his/her funeral now what memory what you write in the condolences book? What memory would his/her mum write? Your children etc?
Unless you married your partner for the wrong reasons (money, no one else available, sad etcs abound) you should be feeling very nostalgic and upset by now.
The next stage:
Write his/her profile for a dating agency using the information above.
The next stage:
Write your wish list for your ideal partner.
Make this totally comprehensive – mine includes – can drive! One of my friends has 146 things on her list and her current boyfriend ticks every box!
Do you see many similarities between your wish list and your current partner?
If no… go ahead divorce is probably the right decision. If yes… try to save your marriage… the subject of another post!