Many people contemplate getting a divorce for years. Their fear of change and loss overrides their wish or need for a different future. It is only when the unhappiness of present situation and potentially the inability to carry on a false façade for everybody else pushes people to make such a painful decision. Therefore, prior to making this decision, it is important to consider the side effects of getting divorced. They are as follows:
1. Impact Divorce has on Financial Loss
Even the wealthy do not wish to reduce their capital and income by a significant amount. Divorcing will cost money. Potentially, this could be half of your matrimonial pot if you have been married for more than 5 years. There are also the related costs of moving, legal fees and other changes which may be essential such as separating out your business interest, changing children’s schools, dividing the household chattels, which requires purchase of new furniture etc.
2. Stress from Divorce Proceedings
Divorce is one of the highest stress indicators. Second only to bereavement. Even if you wish to separate and divorce the stress is still real. Coupled with these there may also be the stress of moving house, changing employment if you previously worked in a business together, and dealing with the fallout of all friends and families, hence, divorce and separation is an extremely stressful period in life.
Sometimes the stress has health and physical impacts. People lose weight, people cannot sleep, people become angry and irritable with their friends and family. If you feel this stress is having an impact on your behaviour it is worth considering speaking to your GP to obtain medication. Sometimes anti-depressants can ease anxiety which can stem from going through such a stressful period, But it is important to get proper medical advice particularly with regards to any potential addiction issues.
3. Recovery from Divorce Proceedings
Most people underestimate the emotional divorce, it can take up to 2 years to recover from the loss. Many jump into a new relationship without healing themselves first. It is important to take time to care for your emotional needs. Many people find counselling a great assistance in this regard. Unfortunately, talking to your friends and family does not always help because they have their own agenda, they are not impartial. A counsellor is there to listen and provide assistance and help you work through the pain and heal.
4. Impact on your Children.
Most research states that children are impacted negatively by the separation and divorce of their parents. This impacts on their ability to have relationships in the future and on their emotional development and their performance at school. Many children blame themselves and either seek to become the perfect child in the hope that their parents will reconcile or act out by behaving badly. It is important to monitor your children’s emotional wellbeing.
Any child that presents as unaffected is probably putting on an act and may need help such as counselling via their school. Counselling is for the child only. It is a secure environment for your child, where what they say to the counsellor, will not be revealed to either parents.
Alternatively, there are also side effects of not getting a divorce and remaining in an unhappy relationship. You can read more about whether to stay or leave your relationship here.