Marriage Breakdown and Divorce
The breakdown of a marriage typically leads to a divorce. More couples are choosing to separate their lives and finalise matters financially and some hope for a good divorce. They wish to limit the effects of the divorce on their emotions and limit divorce costs. Importantly they also wish to limit the effects of separation on their children. Normally to get a divorce is not simply about divorce online. Filling in some divorce forms alone is only applicable if your circumstances are very straightforward, if you have no assets or children and if you have a high degree of co-operation from your spouse.
Whether you have an amicable divorce, an acrimonious divorce or an agonising divorce is in part up to you. You cannot control your spouse’s behaviour or that of his/her divorce solicitor, but you can control your reaction to it and you have control over your choice of divorce solicitor and, of course, your own behaviour.
You can ease the pain and expense of your divorce and separation if you want to.
Good Divorce Guidelines
Help your divorce solicitor obtain financial documents – A divorce solicitor cannot advise you until he / she has full financial disclosure. A divorce solicitor cannot make an offer to settle until he / she has received full financial disclosure from the other side.
Don’t chase revenge – Normally one party initiates the divorce and the other part lags behind emotionally. They experience shock, denial, anger and hurt. Expect to feel bad but try to limit your emotions.
Communicate with your divorce solicitor – Your divorce solicitor must be told everything if he / she is expected to look after your interests and represent you properly. It is important that you are honest with him / her. Your divorce solicitor will achieve far more for you if he / she knows what he / she is dealing with.
Aim for a fair divorce – Don’t fight to win everything in the hope of retribution. You will both lose out in increased legal costs. On the other hand don’t give everything away either through guilt or mental exhaustion. Your divorce solicitor should provide an objective analysis of what range of figures provides a fair divorce settlement.
Commit to an early resolution of your divorce – If both you and your divorce lawyer approach the matter determined to move things forward this should encourage the other side to do likewise. Dragging things out is expensive and emotionally draining; if you can’t bear to deal with letters have a close friend open them for you.
Regard your divorce as an opportunity – Take control of your new life; seek emotional support from family and friends and professional help if you need it. Try to obtain a balance and not have every conversation with everyone you know dominated with the details of your divorce, some people want to help, but some people are just interfering.
Consider tax implications of any property settlement – Your divorce solicitor will advise you on this and you may need an accountant.
Don’t use the children – Don’t fight in front of your children, don’t put them in the middle and don’t criticise your spouse in front of them.